eggbaconchipsandbeans

urbis bacon chips and beans

Urbis, the splendid museum in Manchester say:

"Inspired by the book Egg, Bacon, Chips and Beans Urbis (www.urbis.org.uk) will be running a small exhibition about Manchester Greasy Spoons - if you have any comments about your favourite (or worst!) Manchester Greasy Spoons, get in touch with us - shop@urbis.org.uk"

Brilliant stuff. I've not done that many places in Manchester, not really had chance, so I'm looking forward to what they unearth. Remember, email them, don't comment here.

guardian breakfasts

Very excited to have done some stuff for The Guardian today. There might still be time to get one at the newsagents if you're out and about. There's lots of eggbaconchipsandbeans stuff and some excellent words from Malcolm at the LRB. 30 years of reading it and finally I've done a bit of writing.

Acton Town Cafe, Central Parade, Gunnersbury Lane, Acton

I knew I'd been here before. I'm sure I'll come again. It's because every time I go here, I'll probably come to the Acton Town Cafe. It's just across the road. That's a happy thought. 

A brilliantly generous EBCB, it has a feeling of plenitude, of milk and honey, abundance. Almost like some sort of genie (or djinn) has invented a bottomless plate that keeps disgorging food into the middle of the plate. Brilliant. Look at all those beans, you could lose yourself in there.

But the highlight has to be the chips. These actually move the definition of chips on somewhat. These aren't just bits of something, these are no chips off any block, these are slabs of substance, crispy, crunchy planks of potato-y perfection. These might even be bigger than the original potato. (Maybe the Djinn again?) This is a textbook EBCB. Very, very nice.

Good cup of tea too. Solid. Beefy. You can tell railway people come in here. They demand a decent cuppa.

That looks awesome doesn't it? Like it would survive an earthquake and not through being cleverly designed to move and float in the earthquake but because they're big and solid and grounded.

Nice big tables too. You and three generously sized friends can sprawl in here. Relax. Spread out. Maybe loosen the belt a notch or too before setting the world to rights. Acton Town Cafe. I salute you. I will return. Map

Jones Dairy, 24 Tudor Street, EC4

It takes quite a lot of looking to discover this place is called Jones Dairy. With the awning thing up you can't see the sign. And it doesn't matter. None of the people running the place gave the impression of being a Jones. And I bet none of the regular calls it that. It's just the caff. Or the place on the corner. And that's as it should be. Cafes aren't brands. They're places on the corner. Human places. Grub places. They don't need clever names.

And this one doesn't because it does proper, tasty grub. Fast, city-worker, people-in-high-viz jacket, IT dept, grub. No nonsense in and out quickly grub. And there's a geology lesson in there too. The way those beans are slipping under the chips is a very accurate model of elementary plate tectonics. The chips and beans form a sort of lithosphere, the plate (the actual, you know, plate plate) is an asthenosphere. It's solid but can move like a liquid on geological time scales. (Though your tea might go cold if you wait that long.) The bacon and egg are analogous to some of the smaller tectonic plates maybe the Juan De Fuca Plate or the Nazca Plate.

And, as bonus, it's all rather delicious. Cripsy where it needs to be, soft where it should be. Genius.

Would I be going too far if I suggested they look a bit like geological measuring instruments? Probably. Sorry.

Tea, not going cold.

A fantastic place. Highly recommended.

Bridge The Gap, 171F Battersea Park Road, SW8

This is a welcome site. You find yourself between Vauxhall and Battersea early in the morning. Somewhere round there. Maybe you're visiting a delivery company depot because they've failed to deliver your package. Maybe you're picking up a new chum from the Dog's Home. Maybe you're lucky enough to be local. Anyway. It's cold and early and, frankly, a bit miserable. And you see this. You're happy. And soon you'll be full.

Because the ebcb is genius. It's huge. You get the sense that ome cafes, when confronted with an ebcb order draw in their horns a little. They shave something off the amounts for each individual constituent part. It's going to be a big meal anyway, why not save a shilling here or there on the overall package. If only to fit it on the plate. Not at Bridge The Gap. Full measures on everything and a plate that can cope with anything you might throw at it. You could fit a tomato and some mushrooms on there if you wanted.  Look at those chips! You could use them as beach defences. Pile them at the shoreline and no tank would pass. They're tasty, plentiful and practical, what more could you want? And they're not skimping with the rest either. A couple of bacon rashers, like mini steaks. A very fair bean apportionment. (And good beans too) And a nicely contained egg. Not wide, certainly, but thick. It has mass that egg. This is a good, cheering, heartfelt breakfast. Let's have a closer look:

Marvellous. Hurrah for Bridge The Gap.

Lovely, complete condiment set. With a nice little stand/container. Not sure what it's for really, except keeping the condiments close together. But it keeps the condiments close together.

And I like the menu system. Big pictures, up by the counter, lots of set options. Lots of temptation.

I love these kinds of chairs. So simple and practical. And, especially when it's empty like this, ordered and pretty. Must be a lot of anxiety about the colour choice though, once you've chosen you're stuck for a long time. This green is a good choice though, distinctive and bright. This is a great place. Must go again.

Platial location

joints, grill, minerals, cigarettes

Phil was kind enough to send me this (he thinks he found it in a junk shop years ago). I love everything about the assumptions embedded in here. These are the food choices we should be making - joints or grill leads to tea, coffee, cake and finishes off nicely with cigarettes.