how to be interesting

While I was at the U of O I kept going on about how the core skill of any future creative business person will be 'being interesting'. People will employ and want to work with (and want to be with) interesting people.

And since I’d spent quite a lot of time telling them all the things they should stop doing I’d thought I’d try and teach something useful. Since I don't actually know anything useful I had to make something up. Which is below. It takes about 10 minutes to teach but it’ll take a lifetime for people to work out if it works or not, and by then I’ll be long gone. Ha!

I’ve based it on two assumptions:

The way to be interesting is to be interested. You’ve got to find what’s interesting in everything, you’ve got to be good at noticing things, you’ve got to be good at listening. If you find people (and things) interesting, they’ll find you interesting.

Interesting people are good at sharing. You can’t be interested in someone who won’t tell you anything. Being good at sharing is not the same as talking and talking and talking. It means you share your ideas, you let people play with them and you’re good at talking about them without having to talk about yourself.

The marvelous thing about tinterweb is that it’s got great tools for being interested and great tools for sharing. So I’ve used them a lot. It should, of course, be obvious that there are many other ways to be interesting. Some of them don't involve computers at all. These are just 10 things, and if you do them you’ll get more interesting. Or at the very least you’ll start practising the skills of being interesting.

It's sort of didactic, bossy even, but it's supposed to be instructional, rules you can follow. If you do them, and send me evidence that you’ve done them for three months, then I’ll send you a marvelous ‘I’m More Interesting Than I Was Three Months Ago’ certificate.

1. Take at least one picture everyday. Post it to flickr.

You should carry a camera with you. A phonecam will do. The act of carrying a camera, and always keeping an eye out for a picture to take changes the way you look at the world. It makes you notice more things. It keeps you tuned in.

Posting it to flickr (or other photosharing sites) means that you’re sharing it. It’s in public. This will make you think a little harder about what you shoot and it might draw you into conversation about your pictures.

2. Start a blog. Write at least one sentence every week.

This is pretty easy. If you just did this much I’d be disapppointed. You should write more sentences. Or you should write one true sentence. But I suspect that you won’t be able to limit yourself to just one sentence, I suspect you’ll get bitten and want to do more.

It’s easy to knock blogging as a kind of journalism of the banal but in some ways that’s its strength. Bloggers don’t go out and investigate things (mostly) they’re not in exciting or glamorous places, they’re not given a story, they have to build one out of the everyday lives they lead. And this makes them good at noticing things, things that others might not have seen. And being a blogger, feeling the need to write about stuff makes you pay attention to more things, makes you go out and see more stuff, makes you carry a notebook, keeps you tuned in to the world.

3. Keep a scrapbook

I’ve talked about this before. It’s good. Do it.

4. Every week, read a magazine you’ve never read before

Interesting people are interested in all sorts of things. That means they explore all kinds of worlds, they go places they wouldn’t expect to like and work out what’s good and interesting there. An easy way to do this is with magazines. Specialist magazines let you explore the solar system of human activities from your armchair. Try it, it’s fantastic.

5. Once a month interview someone for 20 minutes, work out how to make them interesting. Podcast it.

Again, being interesting is about being interested. Interviewing is about making the other person the star; finding out what they know or think that’s interesting. Could be anyone, a friend, a colleague, a stranger, anyone. Find out what’s compelling about them. Interviewing stops you butting in too much and forces you to listen. Good thing to practice. (And it's worth noticing the people who are good at it.) Podcasting is sharing. Sharing is something you must get used to.

6. Collect something

It could be anything. It could be pictures of things. But become an expert in something unexpected and unregarded. Develop a passion. Learn how to communicate that to other people without scaring them off. Find the other few people who share your interest. Learn how to be useful in that community.

7. Once a week sit in a coffee-shop or cafe for an hour and listen to other people’s conversations. Take notes. Blog about it. (Carefully)

Take little dips in other people’s lives. Listen to their speech patterns and their concerns. Try and get them down on paper. (Don’t let them see. Try not to get beaten up.) Don’t force it, don’t hop from table to table in search of better eavesdropping, just bask in the conversations that come your way.

8. Every month write 50 words about one piece of visual art, one piece of writing, one piece of music and one piece of film or TV. Do other art forms if you can. Blog about it

If you want to work in a creative business (and before long most businesses will be creative businesses) you’ll have to get used to having a point of view on artistic stuff. Even if it’s not very artistic. You’ll have to be comfortable with expressing an opinion on things you don’t know how to make or do, like music or writing. You get better at that through practice. And through sharing what you’ve written.

9. Make something

Do something with your hands. Create something from nothing. It could be knots, it could be whittling, Lego, cake or knitting. Take some time to get outside your head. Ideally, make something you have no idea how to do. Get something from Make and try it, assuming you’ll screw it up the first time. People love people who can make things. Making’s the new thinking. Share your things on the your blog, or, if you’re brilliant maybe you can share them on etsy.

10. Read:

Understanding Comics - Scott McCloud
The Mezzanine - Nicholson Baker
The Visual Display Of Quantitative Information - Edward Tufte

All these books are good for their own reasons but they’re also good examples of people who are really interested in stuff that others think of as banal and who explain it in a way that makes you share their passion. That's good.

And that's it.

Anyone got any others?

Comments

[Spanky]

Travel. You forgot to mention travel. Nothing makes you more interesting than being able to tell people that you visited a place they visited or a place where they once lived. People stuck in the same town just aren't as interesting as travelers. And, don't go to the same place every time. I know a guy that travels every other week to Hawaii. It's boring and no one is interested.

Also, if you like books, read Prometheus Rising. If you do the lessons at the end of the chapter, you will be more interesting. I promise.

[Joachim]

Hi Russell, I got to this post totally randomly and found it great, plenty of nice ideas and everything. But imagine my surprise when I saw, above your third point, "Keep a scrapbook" a picture of one of my notebooks (you can see it there : http://www.flickr.com/photos/joachim/33361338/in/set-72057594051307376/ ), it's a great honor to illustrate an interesting article :)

[Crooky]

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
/wakes up.
That was a really... yeah... post.

[Roger von Oech]

Really excellent post with good practical suggestions.

I'm a little late to the party on this subject, but allow me to add another idea to your list:

"FLEX YOUR RISK MUSCLE."

Bull's-eye every time? If so, you're standing too close to the target. If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative. Everyone has a "risk muscle." You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don't, it atrophies and you're no longer able to take chances.

A good question to ask one's self: How can I exercise my risk muscle today?

Best wishes,

Roger von Oech

[Dave O'Brien]

The tufte VDQI link is broken :-(

[Sumeet Wadhwa]

very interesting... ;)

[laura]

love your tips, mate! keep going! you are very good on this ;)
greetings from brazil

[Liz Wade]

Howabout a bit of science? I think we artsy types can miss out on a whole world of stimulus by neglecting this. I would add to your rules: every week, think about some object or process in the world around you that you don't really understand, and then research it until you understand it a bit better. eg How do seasons happen? How does an egg work? How come newborn babies can swim? Knowing stuff like that can make you fascinating!

[Richard Buchanan]

Be happy......

[neshtofino]

take a spontaneous trip--1 day or 1 week--via backroads once a month. it can be to see what's going on 2 towns over or 2 time zones over. and mapping it on a theme or goal invigorates the journey. it's the best way to get an understanding and perspective on the lives of others as well as our own.

example: tripped with a friend from chicago to key west, rumbling down country roads mapped out as to hit towns named after european cities such as london ky and athens ga. absolutely amazing and eye-opening, the backroads exposing us to expanses i thought were only reachable through history books. perspective slapped us hard.

[nikr]

What Joachim said:

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
/wakes up.
That was a really... yeah... post.

[Marc Comeau]

Wonderful post. This is a laudry list of things that I've been trying to do over the years. Only some with success ;)

One thing I haven't done before though is the interview. I really, really like the idea. I work at a university and am surrounded by remarkably interesting people, a few of which I think would enjoy this kind of thing. Thanks for the inspiration.

[Aaron]

The word 'interesting' has always bothered me. Can anyone really define interesting without using a root form in the definition? Think of the last time you used the word 'interesting' and look for a better word.

Trust me, there is one.

[Ape Lad]

Hey is that a redhorseshoe scrap book thing? I've used a couple of those on the 700 hobo project.

[Ching]

Make a conscious effort to go places you've never been.

They can be new continents, new countries, new cities, or just that tucked-away little restaurant down the street that you've heard about for ages but never tried.

A few years ago we decided to avoid staying in the same vacation hotels twice - we progressed from there to finding ourselves trekking in Nepal for ten days last year! It was amazing and I highly recommend it.

[Kaj]

hey.. I think this is a fantastic post.. here's some of mine:

1.Exploring a city on foot is always fun coz u see things u'd normally miss.

2.Films, defi.. esp if you can get films from all over the world. having said that, youtube rocks!

3. Ask questions.. (not in an annoying way) but don't be afraid if some of them sound stupid. we're all learning, every single day right? And I've found that if you ask nicely, most people are really happy to tell you what they think.

4. Do something that scares you and throws you out of your comfort zone. for me, it was being OK with eating out alone occassionally, just cause I wanted to. Without worrying that people would think I'm strange!

5. Try to learn a new skill every year.... =)

6. Go places where there are enthusiastic gatherings.. concerts, gallery openings... there's so much you pick up by osmosis and talking to passionate people can be so inspiring!!

[Tu Shitz]

Clearly you all have a lot of time on you hands. Go get a Job!

"Every month write 50 words about one piece of visual art"

If you are dumb enough to do these things, please forward me the your bank account number, I will certainly make your life very very interesting... no doubt!

[https://gisat-svr.casablanca.cz/cms/daisy/www]

I somehow agree with your "rules".
but why is the goal to become interesting?

isn't it to become interested?

and what is the purpose of getting interested then?

i would say the purpose is to do something.
but if you are interested in everything, how do you do something.
how do you select what to dive into.
do you have some "rules" about that?
or we should never dive seriously into anything?

[Guscasas]

ok , let´s play!

[Christine]

I stumbled upon this site by chance. Certainly offered up a lot of food for thought, I intend on using some of these suggestions. Thanks!

I would add smile a lot... people respond far better to a smiling face. Smiling will definitely help open up conversations with strangers, help with the flirting, and when eavesdropping while reading that book, they will assume that you're reading an "interesting" page. Just a simple little gesture like a warm smile has proven quite interesting. =)

[Matt Grant]

When I was in grad school, a colleague complained about the use of the word "interested" in sentences such as, "I'm very interested in personal ethnography." There was something about it that implied maintaining a cool distance from the object of interest. Instead of being "interested " and "interesting," what if we aspired to be "engaged" and "engaging"? To the extent that your rules involve releasing new things into the world and interacting with people, I believe that, more than interest, you are promoting engagement. - Matt

[amber]

scare the shit out of yourself once in awhile.

become an expert on something minute but significant and meaningful to you.

play spontaneous rhyming games. seriously - it helps keep you on your toes, and enhances your banter and wordplay skills. Like you're walking with someone, and you just keep talking in sentences where the last word has to rhyme with what they just said.

read childrens books. especially shel silverstein.

play some kind of game (not a video game) once a week. Poker, Scrabble, tennis, frisbee, clue - whatever. just play something.

[paul merrill]

Fun stuff. (Comments too.)

As far as travel and meeting people, the difference between just seeing & truly knowing comes from LIVING in a place other than your home area. Then you can REALLY get to know something other than your little world.

[jon leach]

Don't get cabs to client meetings. Always walk or take public transport. You see much more of "real life" that way and bump into interesting stuff. More importantly you avoid getting into the unreal, self-interested bubble that cab-bound advertising execs can exist in.

Similarly, if you must "do lunch" do it somewhere odd. The Bhs cafe in Oxford Street was always a fave of mine when I worked near there. I once saw Michael Dinner having a "Winners Dinner" there with new owner Philip Green (i have the pictures).

[Richard]

Lovely post, worthy of the spike in readers you've seen.

How about this:

Take a left instead of a right when you're out and about.
I've recently moved house and it's amazing what wonderful things I've seen just by exploring this way.

Or for the parents, this one:
Next holiday, let your child decide what they want to do. Last time we did this we sat down and wrote our top 20 things to do on pieces of paper and then pulled 7 of them out of a bag. We did one a day and had a fantastic holiday.