bugger

I spend a bit of time when talking to brands telling them that whatever they do there's always going to be some corner of the internet somewhere who'll give them a hard time and they're just going to have to live with it. It's one of the inevitable consequences of it being so easy for people to get their opinions online. I never really understood what this meant until yesterday, when I happened upon a couple of bits of the internet devoted to slagging off this blog. And me. Most of it is quite funny parody but some of it feels a bit mean in that forum-y flame-war way that you kind of assume died out a while ago.

It was rather chastening.

I spent most of last night telling myself not to write about it because no good will come of it, but I think that goes against the openness I try to practise here. And I can't bring myself to link to it because it's, well, depressing, and I don't want to. I know I should but bugger it. Equally I know I'm just supposed to laugh this stuff off and be somehow flattered but I can't do that. I guess I'm experiencing some of the consequences of an experiment with semi-public living and I'm naive if I didn't see it coming. But I didn't. I'm doing a presentation today in which I'll be talking about the way people seem willing to abandon quite a lot of privacy online because of the benefits that accrue. I still think that's true, but I think I'm discovering some of the penalties of too.

The substance of the complaints seem to be; I'm affectedly bumbling and luvvie in my writing style, I serve up a stream of inconsequential insights, I'm always hanging out with a little clique of important planning people and/or complete strangers, I'm overly proud of my peripatetic, freelance lifestyle, I'm always pushing my family into the blog and I'm just generally a tosser and an arse. If I've missed anything I'm sure someone will tell me.

I can't argue with a lot of that.

My writing is a bit meandering and I've always liked the way this corner of the blogosphere tends towards the self-deprecating and quiet. I don't know how to be self-deprecating about self-deprecation. That might be a sprial of affected modesty no-one can escape from. And this stuff is pretty easy to parody. I like. To mix in. Short sentences.

I can see how you'd get luvviness out of this too. I hate the reflexive carping of a lot of online writing so have tried, especially recently, to only point at things that I think are good and worth praising. After a while it gets hard to find synonyms for 'marvelous'. So I can see how that would be true. (Though I think the stingingest barb was 'faux luvviness'. That's harsh. So I'm all luvvie but I'm also faking it? Blimey)

The one I'll immediately cop to is 'stream of inconsequential insights' - it's a blog, isn't that what a blog is? And I don't think I've ever claimed that any of them have enormous consequence. I think of it as 'thinking outloud' but maybe I should do less of it. Maybe I should think through more stuff before I post it.

It's hard to defend myself against cliquiness. I write about my friends because they're my friends. And I'm not sure where the line is between a group of friends and a clique. I would say though, that most of the people I've linked to and talked about a lot are people I've met via their blogs in the last year or so. It's a fairly permeable group.

The conspicuous lifestyle and trophy family issues are also understandable. This blog is a little experiment in over-sharing and I enjoy it most when I don't have to draw an artificial line between work and life. For all the people who log on for the latest inconsequential insight there are friends of ours around the world who are interested in what Arthur's up to. I know some people think it's weird that I post stuff like the notes that Arthur leaves me, but I also know some people think it's good. Maybe it's the hybrid nature of the thing that's off-putting, is this my diary or my professional journal? It's both. Sorry if that's annoying. Same goes for the work and travel I do. This is what I do. I write about it because I like writing about it and because it seems interesting to some people. All my silly music and photography experiments are offered in the same spirit. You don't have to read if you don't want to. But if I had to choose, I think I'd abandon writing about work and just write about life. Maybe that's what I should do. Maybe this should just be a diary on vox.

It has made me wonder if I'm a blog equivalent of a stage father though, always thrusting Arthur into the limelight. Whenever I've asked him about it he's said he likes it, but he's only 6 so what does he know? I may do less of that.

Tosser and arse? You decide. Probably both. Sometimes. Who isn't?

All this has also made me feel especially bad about those occasions when I've had a go at other people or their blogs. It's easy to forget that there's a person behind a blog, easy to think of blogs as just another media property but they are more personal than that. I can cope if you slag off an ad I've made but having a go at my blog is more personal.

And I've also realised that I may be exactly the wrong person to be living with this much openness. I have to recognise that I'm incredibly thin-skinned and I can't laugh this stuff off, so I probably shouldn't ever aspire to write for Comment Is Free. I imagine my critics response to this self-absorbed lament will be 'ah diddums' and that might be fair, but it's rather got me down.

I remember Mena Trott talking about the moment she'd had enough of very public blogging and Bobbie Johnson discussing how it feels to have your blog dissected like a biology experiment. I fondly imagined that wouldn't happen to me. I don't know whether I'm more depressed about the people having a go at me or my own naiveté in not being prepared for it.  Probably the latter.

Anyway. Lessons learned: 1. Blurry hybrids are tricky. People want to know what you're doing, what your motivations are. 2. If you're going to venture into blogging you should prepare yourself for a bit of slagging. But preparing yourself intellectually is different to how you feel when it actually happens. 3. Don't follow your links in, you might not like what you find.

I'm going to be traveling a lot for the next week or so, and I wouldn't want to bore you with that, so I think I'm going to suspend blogging operations for a couple of weeks and see how it feels to not do it. (Though I'll probably keep twittering and flickering, I've got to have some digital fix).

I'll see you all in a couple of weeks for the feedback on Assignment 13. cheers

Comments

[davidthedesigner]

And that missing two weeks will be a sad loss for the rest of us, Russell. Don't let the buggers get you down.

[Will]

Got to echo David's sentiments - don't let people get to you.

I've received a couple of barbed emails in my time, but those kind of people just aren't worth bothering with.

I like the asides/pictures of Arthur. This blog wouldn't be 'you' if it lost them. As you don't have a ultra specific reason for blogging (only, it seems, to document your thoughts), don't sweat those 'off topic' postings. They aren't.

[Lee McEwan]

Don't change a thing

[david]

This I'm afraid is the classic difference between positioning and proposition.

You know why you're doing things, trying to convey an open and honest view of the world, however others don't always see it that way. What we make public is down to the interpretation of others and hence you get idiotic responses... You'll be sorely missed!

[Rob @ Cynic]

As my Dad said, it's better to be talked about then never known ...

People with opinions always cause mixed reactions - if everyone liked everything you said, you'd either be Yoda or be the ruler of a dictatorship.

[Everyone laughs at jokes of the Queen]

[philip]

Life in the open is just that, open. I got into both deep research and finally blogging all as a result of observing your work and reading your blog. Take a break, big deep breath and then, well, more forwards basically.
Best wishes. Philip

[bert Moore]

hello my friend, it's been a few months since i said hello.

was touched by your note, so i thought i'd pop my head above the parapet and say; leave my friend alone you sad, sniping s****s.

he's brave enough to share his thoughts and feelings and he does not deserve the pathetic gibes of weaker people.

if you're open enough to share your criticism, i'll be at the next coffee morning, to buy you a pot of tea and watch you slowly sip your words, as the humble, sharp mind of a colleague dissolves your critisism quicker than my two lumps of granulated white sugar...x

[Graham]

Learn to switch off/ignore Russell. I think I'm as equally thin skinned as yourself, thus far I haven't been slagged off an awful lot - apart from on Comment is free, but who comes off scotfree over there? :) It feels good to laugh at it and very rapidly move on. Literally in one pixel and out the other.

Like Bobbie says, some folk don't realise there is a real person involved, or that that real person is listening and reading. If some folk are spending their time having a pop at you I imagine they're also a bit in awe and not a little jealous.

Don't dwell, carry on, business as usual.

[beeker]

time's like this i want a wise eastern proverb to wisely say don't pay any attention. but i don't know any, so i'll have to stick with 'ignore the f******.' (and don't be away too long.)

[Rozza]

At the risk of being accused of 'luvviedom', I can only agree with the comments above.

Your blog is relentlessly first-class, Russell - its 'meandering' and 'inconsequentiality', home-y insights, gentle wit and endless self-depracation are exactly what make it so wonderfully readable.

If you stick to your guns, which I hope you don't, it's going to be a very long two weeks. Come back soon.

[Kirsty]

Agree, don't change a thing. Sorry you've experienced it.

[Oli]

Russell,

From the ECBC, general posts and the ad planning stuff that I don't understand reading your posts is always a total pleasure, as has been meeting and talking with you offline.

I had a similar experience with my past forays into online work and writing. Its nasty, its vitriolic and in my case it was high profile. If those making such comments had talent, they'd use it to be original and interesting. Clearly they don't.

All I can say is keep strong and please keep blogging about anything that pops into your mind, as you've been an inspiration to me and i know countless others.

All the best mate, hope to see you soon.

Oli :)

[Faris]

Hello mate.

You are the reason I started a blog. Blogging has genuniely enriched my life in all kinds of ways I never expected. I am grateful. I've made lots of new friends. One of them is you. And I'm pretty picky about my mates.

You rock.

Simple as that.

The critics - it kind of reminds me of religious fundamentalists who complain about telly programmes - if you don't like it here, change the channel.

[Marcus Brown]

Right that’s it. I bet the people who „parody“ and slag off this blog, and Russell are sitting back, relaxing and having a good laugh at all this. Are you? Are you? Well, here’s something for you, you stupid, inconsiderate fucks, come over to my place and have a go. Go on, dare you. You think Russell rambles and writes short sentences eh? Well, you should try me out for size. Simple as that. And when you do be prepared for what follows. I mean it. I really, really mean it.

So, to you Russell. I’m furious with you. Honestly, truly, properly cross. On the one hand you talk about openness and the need for “brands” to be aware and open to the fact that someone, somewhere is saying something negative about you. Whether you like it or not, you are very important to an awful lot of people. You are important. This blog is important. It may have started out as a “hobby” or some notes or whatever but it has become something else.

I’ve met you. Briefly. And you were lovely. You’ve been kind to me, hell we even went to war over meat and you got me on the bloody BBC for heavens sake. Sometimes I like what you right. Sometimes I don’t. And I know you’re a gentle guy but did it ever occur to you to turn to us for help on something like this?

So Russell, take a break but do point us in the right direction and we’ll have it sorted by the time you’re back. Blog MMA-time Mr. Colman?

[Marcus Brown]

sorry I swore. But I'm really cross.

[Jim Holt]

Russell, you're the blogosphere equivalent of John Peel. As the criticism goes, bumbling, luvvie, sometimes inconsequential and also stimulating and multi-dimensional and mostly a pleasure to read. There are plenty of other bloggers that don't combine these traits, and ideally your critics should go and read them instead. I wonder why someone would have bothered reading enough of your material to arrive at their critical conclusions if they actively didn't enjoy doing so? It's not Victor Meldrew is it? Since your not sapping license payers money or government funding why should you have to be accountable to anyone than yourself? Keep up the good stuff.

[Rich]

Russell,

As others have said here, it's been enlightening and inspirational to read your stuff - I find your attitude to sharing and your general enthusiasm about stuff refreshing and quite disarming - it's not the sort of thing that people in creative businesses do - ownership of ideas, getting the credit for them and achieving some kind of peer recognition is what motivates most people in the media and this almost always leads to jealousy and cynicism. It's very easy to get laughs by taking the piss and slagging things off. It's very hard to entertain and amuse by being positive. You are one of the few people I've come across who can actually do it.
If people are parodying what you do then it's good that you have a distinctive style and persona. Most people who are well-known in their field have detractors, and most of them keep doing what they do and try to ignore it.

[Ben Blench]

"Blurry hybrids are tricky. People want to know what you're doing, what your motivations are."

Ballox to that. Please continue to blur and hybridize.

[phillinda]

i've loved you blog. since i've started my journey becoming a planner last year. it has been very insightful. and who cares what that person said. they are probably jealous that they can't be you.

your blog has been helpful to many starting and established planners. you make us all think.

I hope you decide to keep blogging
cuz most of us out here enjoy what you do.

[henry lambert]

Faris hit the nail on the head. You run a top blog and you're a top man. Keep up the good work.

[Bogdana]

Russell, you are an inspiration to a lot of us here in Romania and you know that planning and planners here would not be the same without your blog and the input that we take from it. Please do not pay attention to blog hate and continue doing what you do. We look to your blog and you for daily enthusiasm and to think it might stop is dreadful.

[John Dodds]

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."

[Caroline]

Russell,
Don’t let it get you down. Just remember that you’ve changed peoples’ blogging and reading habits for the better. Parody exists in all media - film, literature, art – it’s a sign of how important your blog has become that you’ve been chosen as a subject. Take a break and hang out with Arthur who will certainly have the wisest and most upcheering comments on all of this. But above all come back soon please.

[aa]

sorry to post anonymously, I know the guy who wrote this flame....he's very embarrassed, and the blog and flames are being taken down now...

[MarcusBrown]

well the he should have the balls to come over here and explain him self. RIGHT NOW.