bugger

I spend a bit of time when talking to brands telling them that whatever they do there's always going to be some corner of the internet somewhere who'll give them a hard time and they're just going to have to live with it. It's one of the inevitable consequences of it being so easy for people to get their opinions online. I never really understood what this meant until yesterday, when I happened upon a couple of bits of the internet devoted to slagging off this blog. And me. Most of it is quite funny parody but some of it feels a bit mean in that forum-y flame-war way that you kind of assume died out a while ago.

It was rather chastening.

I spent most of last night telling myself not to write about it because no good will come of it, but I think that goes against the openness I try to practise here. And I can't bring myself to link to it because it's, well, depressing, and I don't want to. I know I should but bugger it. Equally I know I'm just supposed to laugh this stuff off and be somehow flattered but I can't do that. I guess I'm experiencing some of the consequences of an experiment with semi-public living and I'm naive if I didn't see it coming. But I didn't. I'm doing a presentation today in which I'll be talking about the way people seem willing to abandon quite a lot of privacy online because of the benefits that accrue. I still think that's true, but I think I'm discovering some of the penalties of too.

The substance of the complaints seem to be; I'm affectedly bumbling and luvvie in my writing style, I serve up a stream of inconsequential insights, I'm always hanging out with a little clique of important planning people and/or complete strangers, I'm overly proud of my peripatetic, freelance lifestyle, I'm always pushing my family into the blog and I'm just generally a tosser and an arse. If I've missed anything I'm sure someone will tell me.

I can't argue with a lot of that.

My writing is a bit meandering and I've always liked the way this corner of the blogosphere tends towards the self-deprecating and quiet. I don't know how to be self-deprecating about self-deprecation. That might be a sprial of affected modesty no-one can escape from. And this stuff is pretty easy to parody. I like. To mix in. Short sentences.

I can see how you'd get luvviness out of this too. I hate the reflexive carping of a lot of online writing so have tried, especially recently, to only point at things that I think are good and worth praising. After a while it gets hard to find synonyms for 'marvelous'. So I can see how that would be true. (Though I think the stingingest barb was 'faux luvviness'. That's harsh. So I'm all luvvie but I'm also faking it? Blimey)

The one I'll immediately cop to is 'stream of inconsequential insights' - it's a blog, isn't that what a blog is? And I don't think I've ever claimed that any of them have enormous consequence. I think of it as 'thinking outloud' but maybe I should do less of it. Maybe I should think through more stuff before I post it.

It's hard to defend myself against cliquiness. I write about my friends because they're my friends. And I'm not sure where the line is between a group of friends and a clique. I would say though, that most of the people I've linked to and talked about a lot are people I've met via their blogs in the last year or so. It's a fairly permeable group.

The conspicuous lifestyle and trophy family issues are also understandable. This blog is a little experiment in over-sharing and I enjoy it most when I don't have to draw an artificial line between work and life. For all the people who log on for the latest inconsequential insight there are friends of ours around the world who are interested in what Arthur's up to. I know some people think it's weird that I post stuff like the notes that Arthur leaves me, but I also know some people think it's good. Maybe it's the hybrid nature of the thing that's off-putting, is this my diary or my professional journal? It's both. Sorry if that's annoying. Same goes for the work and travel I do. This is what I do. I write about it because I like writing about it and because it seems interesting to some people. All my silly music and photography experiments are offered in the same spirit. You don't have to read if you don't want to. But if I had to choose, I think I'd abandon writing about work and just write about life. Maybe that's what I should do. Maybe this should just be a diary on vox.

It has made me wonder if I'm a blog equivalent of a stage father though, always thrusting Arthur into the limelight. Whenever I've asked him about it he's said he likes it, but he's only 6 so what does he know? I may do less of that.

Tosser and arse? You decide. Probably both. Sometimes. Who isn't?

All this has also made me feel especially bad about those occasions when I've had a go at other people or their blogs. It's easy to forget that there's a person behind a blog, easy to think of blogs as just another media property but they are more personal than that. I can cope if you slag off an ad I've made but having a go at my blog is more personal.

And I've also realised that I may be exactly the wrong person to be living with this much openness. I have to recognise that I'm incredibly thin-skinned and I can't laugh this stuff off, so I probably shouldn't ever aspire to write for Comment Is Free. I imagine my critics response to this self-absorbed lament will be 'ah diddums' and that might be fair, but it's rather got me down.

I remember Mena Trott talking about the moment she'd had enough of very public blogging and Bobbie Johnson discussing how it feels to have your blog dissected like a biology experiment. I fondly imagined that wouldn't happen to me. I don't know whether I'm more depressed about the people having a go at me or my own naiveté in not being prepared for it.  Probably the latter.

Anyway. Lessons learned: 1. Blurry hybrids are tricky. People want to know what you're doing, what your motivations are. 2. If you're going to venture into blogging you should prepare yourself for a bit of slagging. But preparing yourself intellectually is different to how you feel when it actually happens. 3. Don't follow your links in, you might not like what you find.

I'm going to be traveling a lot for the next week or so, and I wouldn't want to bore you with that, so I think I'm going to suspend blogging operations for a couple of weeks and see how it feels to not do it. (Though I'll probably keep twittering and flickering, I've got to have some digital fix).

I'll see you all in a couple of weeks for the feedback on Assignment 13. cheers

Comments

[Sylvia]

Russel,
sorry to hear about these problems.
Funny syndrome, that.
Some people just take things a
little too personal.
Or, get annoyed if it's NOT all about them for a change,
and they are thinking they
could do so much better.
Just send these dumbfucks to my
blog on myspazz or so;
I write so much crap they would be
deflected and distracted for ages,
and we could go on with this
here?

[Brian]

No insight is ever inconsequential. It may be to some but not to everyone. To hell with critics. Drive on.

[Clare]

Russell, your blog is great but I can't believe that after so long in this industry you would let the b******s get you down! It is really silly. People are going to take the piss out of you. The next thing they will probably write is that you needed your fans to flatter you back into writing your blog cos that is what it looks like here. But who cares why you do it? If you do it because you like attention and people looking to you for advice that is cool! Why do those people blog? Because they want people to read what they write! Everyone in the blogosphere is a secret exhibitionist!

So just get over it, cut the pity show and go back to what you are good at, amusing us, inspiring us and giving us something interesting to read while we have our tea and biscuit in the morning.

[Helen]

This makes me very sad and I can't think of anything to say that doesn't sound lame. I've found your openness here (including this post) inspirational and really hope this doesn't cause you to repress what you feel like writing.

[liam]

I really enjoy your writing. Don't stop doing what you are doing and don't let the buggers get you down.

[Dino]

It's very simple:

1. There are a lot of HATERS out there. As long as you are well-liked, successful, and, especially popular, you'll attract them (or they'll be attracted to you). These people are sad, insecure fuckers who will not stop until they bring you down. Seriously. Don't let them do this. I know it's harder to say than to do.

2. A lot of people, including myself, have learned a lot from you and have been very inspired by what you do here. These pricks will never have that, and for that they are JEALOUS. You're better than that, and by even mentioning them here, they've scored a point against you. Make it the last tiny measure of gratifaction you give them.

Hold your head up high Russell, a lot of people wish you don't change a thing.

[Roop]

Russell,
You've inspired me more than anyone else ever did in advertising. I don't know you, neither have I met you but I make sure I read every word in your blog, everyday and I guess so does most planners out here in India. Don't bother with what some arsenuts say. You're doing a wonderful job. Come back soon and give us more assignments.

[Northern Planner]

Please don't change a single damned thing - and as Marcus said, you're important to a lot of people.
There's nothing wrong with constructive criticism, but maliciousness is simply not on. Most people consider you kind and generous, please just ignore these mean, jealous idiots.

[Organic frog]

Russell,
I've learned more about planning from your blog than from all the interships have been doing (no offence!)
keep up the great work!

[dboy]

Hey Russell.

Interesting decision you've made. As someone who doesn't blog (but is building up the courage to start ((I don't know why I need courage (I should just get one with it))) but reads them, it does seem they can become all consuming. Perhaps the fact you've reacted like this means now is the time to take some time out anyway - do you think you'd have reacted the same yesterday/a week ago/6 months ago/a year ago?

Anyway - as someone who's recently been inspired to try and forge a career in planning couresy of your blog (and many of the others you link to) and the effort you put in to, well, kind of making planning accessible to people, now's as good a time as any to say thanks.

Looking forward to your return good sir.

[alex]

Russell, as we say in french, "la bave du crapaud n'atteint pas la blanche colombe". Keep on!

[TomLR]

Russell - shut up and get on with it.

Oh, and does that mean our meeting's cancelled ?

[Olidee]

Russell,

Follow your blog, watch your vids, about to attempt my first of your lessons. Love all you do so keep it up mate (not met you but you feel like a friend already so excuse the familiarity). Look forward to meeting you at a coffee morning in the not-too-distant-future.

[Chris]

Russell, if it hadn't been for you, I never would have started blogging - and if I had, I never would have done it in such a considered and measured way. You're an inspiration and every word is great. As Jim Holt said, you're the John Peel of the blog world. Let the wankers wank and ignore them. Don't stop.

[martin Duckworth]

Maybe these people are right, maybe you are everything they say.
I wouldn't know as I've never met you.
All I do know is that your blog is full of interesting ideas, whether yours or someone else's. And that anyone who is brave enough to stick their head above the parapet and offer an opinion is bound to be shot at. Keep thinking, keep blogging.

You also have a son called Arthur. And so do I.

[GT]

This seems to be a fuss about nothing. People are dissed and mocked all the time on the internet, it's what makes it democratic. I'm sure if you weighed the ratios (in true planner style) you'll see a higher level of praise than mock.

I look forward to see a new post soon and this to have blown over after the weekend.

Have a good break

[Sally]

Your blog is a great disruption/ inspiration/ insight/ passion/ innovation source and that's exactly why there are so many ppl coming back to it and reading it everyday.
This break will be like a Google privation...
Sure hope my other bookmarks will keep up with me being over demanding these weeks.

[Clay Parker Jones]

Yeah. What they said. And I have to echo Chris' (three above me) comments...you're a big reason why I even started doing what I do online. So please don't change what you do.

And if you want me to beat anyone up on your behalf, just say the word. Or nod in my direction.

[TC]

I've been a lurker for a while, but felt obliged to add to the support. I read your blog because it's thought-provoking and helps shine a light into parts of the internet I hadn't been aware of. It's an invaluable part of my surfing. Don't let a few small minded people hinder what is such a pleasure to read

[FishNChimps]

I agree with all of the above, especially Jim Holt. Better to be a John Peel than a John Prescott.
If anything, you are a victim of your own success. Be flattered. Welcome to the internet.

[BennyF]

Russell,

I find your blogging style charming and your observations illuminating.

'Sticks and stones' would be suitable riposte to your critics consumed with negativitity.

Look forward to reading new posts sometime soon.

[Lise Lauritzen]

Russell, I only want to echo the comments above. Your blog is great, inspirational and insightful and keep up the great work!
Also, I've heard of several examples where high profile bloggers (Joseph Jaffe etc) have been slagged off, and I guess that in a strange way it's a huge compliment

[Jason Oke]

1) Sorry this happened.
2) But not too sorry, because it sounds like you've learned something valuable and interesting from the experience. I hope that the good can outweigh the bad.
3) Thanks. A lot. For inspiring, for sharing, for listening, for setting an example.

[Daniel Mejia]

This is just sad news. You know something, living in a country where sad news are an every day thing I've learned that there's only one way to get over it: keep on living, with your head up knowing that doesn't matter what live goes on, and only depends on you how to live it. This is by far the most interesting blog around, not only because all the interesting things you have to say, but because it actually feels like friendly place, we get to know you, to know Arthur, to know another planners, etc. This blog is like the home of the plannersphere, and definitely this wouldn't be the same without you. You're an inspiration for all of us not only because you're a great planner but because you're indeed one of the nicest and charming persons around.

[christian]

Wow.This post is about to become the most commented one on your blog (50 comments and counting). Which sort of says a lot about the interest/importance of your blog.
If this was a strategy to measure your 'rate of interestingness' among the blogopshere, I must say that was a masterplan !
Have a good break, come back and resume business as (un)usual.
Look forward to reading you in two weeks.